11/12/21: Discover your Masterpiece

Crisis mode… phone edition. Imagine this, you’re traveling all on your own with a phone as your only lifeline. Now you wake up with that phone at a mere 22% so you think, “SHOOT, gotta charge that”. Go to charge it only to see “Liquid detected in port, cannot charge. Please let the port dry.” CUE CRISIS MODE.

As a disclaimer, I do understand that many people made it without phones for centuries before me. It is this very fact that often reassures me when technology goes down the toilet. However, as a female solo traveler, losing phone access can really put you in a sticky situation. I wouldn’t be able to stray far from the hostel without a phone… I couldn’t venture out at night without a phone… I couldn’t contact anyone in case of emergency without a phone. So, the long and short of things is… Taylor needed to get this phone functional. At that moment I summoned every bit of TLC gumption I could and turned-on problem-solving mode. The plan immediately materialized in my mind…

- Grab laptop in case you can’t get the phone to work and you can sit in a café to look up directions.
- Get credit card because you won’t be using the phone wallet.
- Get debit card to get out cash in case shops need that or your card stops working.
- Go to the store and get rice to put your phone in while you walk around.
- Find electronics store to buy a QR charger to charge the phone via the back instead of the port.
- Remember landmark stores near your hostel, the street you are walking on and the direction you are headed.

And just like that I checked off everything on the list… sat down at a café to charge my phone and let out a sigh of relief. There have not been too many crisis moments on this backpacking trip, but enough to teach me some important things about myself. One of my biggest realizations has been how good I can be at problem-solving. I love figuring things out. I love fixing problems. I love organizing plans to get the job done. I always knew this was a factor of life that I quite enjoyed, but I’m starting to think that this is perhaps the sole, driving factor of my life. It makes me think… when career counselors are trying to determine an applicable career path for you, what do they ask?

        “Well what things do you enjoy, Miss Campbell?”

Seems like a simple question but the response you provide is far from it. Years of schooling, years of working, and years of traveling have helped me narrow down on an answer to this… but as you can see from this post, I’m still working on it (unashamedly so, I should mention). Our purpose in life isn’t something we always inherently know and can simply divulge when prompted. For most of us, our life’s purpose is Michelangelo’s ‘David’, it’s hidden beneath layers gorgeous marble which must be slowly chipped away with the chisel of life’s experiences. For some of us, our art is revealed early in life, think child prodigies like Mozart or activists like Greta Thunberg; for the rest of us, unveiling our masterpiece takes time and patience. This world has no lack of new experiences for those who seek them out, so keep putting yourself out there and doing things that challenge and excite … keep chipping away at your ‘David’. I’m sure you’d agree it would be a great shame if Michelangelo stopped midday and boasted ‘good enough’ about a torso sticking out of an unfinished block. Similarly, it would also be a shame if I, Taylor Campbell, graduated engineering school, got a stable job and turned on cruise control at 26 years old, assuming that I had finalized the piece de resistance of my life. Trust me, there is always more to learn about the world and ourselves… take your time, enjoy the journey, and discover your masterpiece. It’s well worth it.  

11/11/21: Rules of Reciprocity

Prague already feels right. The people, the buildings, and dare I say it… the “vibe”. On the train ride over… I asked for a coffee without realizing it was cash only, and the lady beside me offered to pay. The city feels like one of those doll-house books I would fold out and play with as a child. I can’t help but stare up with amazement at everything that I see. The woman at McDonald’s was very apologetic that my order was late, the man checking me into my hostel was amazingly kind with check-in, and the worker at a local café hung around and chatted with me about my order like we were old friends. I look at all these little moments and must remind myself that the universe gives back what you give to it. I have often found that in periods of my life where I am most kind and generous to others, I encounter only kind and generous people each day. I take this as a bit of a lesson to myself and it can be for you if you’d like. Give to this world what you want to receive back, it really does wonders for your life.

Amendment: After writing this post, I ended up joining the bar trivia team of the café workers and had an amazing time. Seems the phenomena I mention above was working its magic once again. Going through life open to experiences and people has helped me make the most of this trip. Why not give it a try? 

11/10/21: Find your Travel Formula

So, strangely, Munich felt a bit like a rest stop or even a fever dream. I was able to see most of the sites in one day and it went by so quickly that the whole mini-trip felt less momentous. I do have to wonder if this feeling is due to seeing so many places before Munich. Does one become jaded to the wonders of Europe toward the end of a backpacking trip? I hope not! Regardless, even though Munich felt quick, that doesn’t mean it was a bad experience. I saw amazing sights around Old City, with Residenz Munchen, Odeonsplatz and Marienplatz being the highlights. I also wandered through the very interesting Dallmayr delicatessen in the heart of Old City. Dallymar is a German coffee brand founded in Munich, and this store boasts an extensive assortment of classic German deli food, coffee, tea, chocolates and other sweets. Everything was so beautifully displayed that it was a treat just to walk through. In the center of town I checked out the main (breathtaking) buildings which were just now being decorated for Christmas – I wish so badly I would be here to see all the lights come on… I bet it would be pure magical. Anyway, I also took the next day to wander through the Englischer park, which was HUGE and beautiful in the fall colors. I came across a small wave surfing area on one of the park waterways; here people were in full wetsuits, jumping into freezing water to surf the waves coming off a nearby waterfall. And I want to emphasize ‘came across’, because this is how I discover most everything on my trips. I don’t know if this is ‘typical’ way to travel… but I don’t put much research into each place that I’m going because I purposely want to take it minute by minute. I might look up some popular attractions and wander my way to them, but the rest of the time I’m doing just that… wandering. I think that’s an important lesson here, that to really enjoy traveling you must get to know what flavor of travel you like. Are you structured, are you free-flowing, are you city oriented, are you nature oriented, are you a little bit of both? I have worked out the travel formula that I enjoy through years of ‘experimentation’ on various vacations. Often you learn the most about your likes and dislikes when you are traveling with other people and compromising on group itineraries; soon enough you discover your own individual travel formula! Here is a rough idea of mine for example:

- I like old cities, beaches, nature, local area favorites, architecture, history museums, local cafes, adventurous activities and much much more.
- I do not like new cities, very touristy beach areas, strict itineraries, chain food places, and over-priced tourist attractions like ferris wheels.
- My perfect vacation has a mix of nature and local areas or old city. I like to vacation with people, but occasionally need a little time to myself to walk, read, journal, unwind, etc. I like having some basic spots to hit, but don’t like following a fast-paced, packed itinerary. I need some days in each vacation to be more chilled and figure it out as you go; if that means spending all day in a cute café journaling about that exact thing… well that’s just how it goes.

Travel formulas are really important to know because they help you plan a trip that will not disappoint; they are also especially important when traveling with people. A good pre-trip discussion might have some of the following prompts,

- “Which sites are important for each of us to hit?”
- “Are we each more itinerary based or relaxed about our days?”
- “What kind of budget are we each looking to spend for our meals? Should we save on lunch to splurge on dinner?”
- “Is there any activity that we need to split off and do on our own each day to keep a good mental balance?”
- And the last… SUPER crucial question “What things tend to get on each of our nerves? When do we find ourselves getting irritable or triggered?”

If you figure out the answer to this last one, petty fights can often be avoided by staying tidy, accommodating habits, or just getting enough sleep, food, alone time, etc.

Overall, it just important to know yourself, like the last post mentioned. While I took a bit of a tangent to explain that… I will finish off by saying Munich was beautiful but I little smaller than I imagined. This whole feeling may have been due to a weird mental rut in the middle of a big backpacking trip but who knows! For now I am taking a clean mental slate to Prague and looking forward to the storybook city I have heard so much about.   

11/8/21: Know Thyself 

With an absence of more than a month, apologies to myself for such neglect of reflection. I’ll be attempting to do some reflections of past cities in the coming posts. I have bypassed quite a few so far since my journal last saw me leaving Valencia. I am now in the lovely city of Munich, where I have three nights and two days to mess around. I headed here from another now favorite place, Budapest… but we’ll touch on that later.

First things first, traveling here was a bit jolting at first. For the last 10 days I was traveling with a few friends I had met along the way. Traveling with new friends was a great experience… I forgot what its like to travel with the comfort of company. We stayed in hostels together, took in sights together, cooked together, and hopped on transit together. Although I’d been traveling on my own for a month by that point, I easily back slid into the warm blanket of security that shared company provide. Knowing that, you can see how suddenly going back to solo, nomad life would be a big change. At first I felt a little nervous, didn’t know if I could leave these comforts just yet. The days leading up to my departure to Munich had random bursts of nerves coming through.

“Do I want to do this?”

“Gosh isn’t it nice to be hanging out with a group, what happens if I leave it?”

But you know what… know thyself. Through years and years of self-observation, I have come to learn that I often need a swift kick in the butt. If I am relaxed and secure in an environment… I could stay there forever. This tendency to latch onto stability manifested itself in turned down plans with friends, staying in jobs long after I stopped feeling fulfilled, and so on. By a certain age, I started to realize that I will only pursue the things that make me happy is if I am FORCED to do so. Realizing this tendency of mine, I was able to counteract it and become my own manager in a way. When I start to feel that ‘comfortable but stuck’ feeling, I seek out change because I know that the current situation is not good for me. Here are some PRIME examples…

- Leaving my guaranteed internship at a stable company I could probably work at until I retired to take one in Fort Wayne, Indiana … because I knew I needed that growth
- Turning down full-time jobs near home to take one so far away that I would be forced to establish a new life without the help of family and friends … because I knew I needed that growth
- And FINALLY, something on a slightly smaller scale… choosing a train to Munich to continue solo traveling instead of joining my new friends on the remainder of their trip … because I knew I needed the growth

Luckily, despite the little nerves that came up prior to departure, I found the minute I stepped onto that train I got a sudden burst of excitement for new adventure. I received an immediate confirmation that my decision to continue solo travel was the right one and MAN it was satisfying. So I repeat, know thyself. In knowing myself, I’ve been able to shape my life in a way that makes me healthiest and happiest. It feels downright amazing. Here’s to solo travel in Munich and beyond! See y’all in the next one. 

10/4/21: La Vida en Espana

On my way to Barcelona! The last leg of the Spain trip and then onto Belgium. It’s been kind of cool getting the chance to speak Spanish here, but I now see how much I’ve lost since high school. They also speak relatively fast in Spain, so as much as I can ask a complete question… I can’t understand the answer. Let’s just say I’ve become well versed in extensive hand gesturing; I’m thinking this will come in handy when I get to other countries where I don’t know a single word. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

One thing I’m getting used to is the difference in restaurant/café service. I am not used to flagging down wait staff because I would feel quite rude doing that in the USA. But it took a few long waits for the check to realize what the difference was. Also, GOSH do meals here take a long time. I was thinking about how long it would take for lunch breaks in Spain vs home. At most of the jobs I’ve worked, the lunch culture was grabbing a quick bite which you would then either spend 15 rapid minutes eating or scarf down at your desk while continuing to work. That’s a BIG difference I’ve noticed in European culture. Lunch takes about 2 hours at a minimum, its wild! But much as a 2-hour lunch seems to be just that on the surface, its much more representative of the European culture as a whole. Life here seems more casual and enjoyable. People largely live the moment and take life as it comes. It’s not GO GO GO. I absolutely love that. Although it is taking some time to get used to… this lifestyle seems far more conducive to happiness. I very much plan to bring this mentality home somewhat like a souvenir. I’ll bet cortisol levels in Spain are amazingly low.

On a side note, after spending some time in Valencia I would say it’s a cross between Madrid and South Beach, Miami. It gave a very ‘LADS ON TOUR’ vibe in some areas. In a way this has solidified my list of preferred holiday destinations. This may be because of all the time I’ve spent living on beaches but I find they are not my favorite to visit… as for the rest, here is my order,
• Old, Historic Cities
• Nature
• Beaches
• New, Modern Cities

Speaking of old, historic cities… Barcelona here I come!  

10/2/21: Learning to be Comfortable with Discomfort 

Status update? Today I’m in a solid state of disbelief. Just one month ago I was sitting at my desk, working at the tasks of a job I had been in for more a little over three years. Life was predictable and stable. I didn’t have to question what was coming down the road, be it minutes, hours or years.

Cut to the present… I am sitting on a train from Sevilla to Valencia, a trip whose details had only been solidified two days ago. Beyond my trip around Spain, there is no definitive plan of action. Life is unpredictable and arguably unstable. The difference is, no stress. With my anxious tendencies, one would think that my old strategic plan for life would foster worry-free bliss… but no. I have no clue what I’m doing now, but I am the least nervous I have been in years. The last few days have consisted of trying to communicate in broken Spanish, sleeping in a room of ten strangers, and zooming around busy Sevilla streets on rented scooters. Old me would read that last sentence and had a panic attack; but from one nervous person to another, I have tried many things to remedy my anxiety and putting myself out there has been the only proven solution. Learning to be comfortable with discomfort is an important part of life. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. I am living proof. Anyone I know will tell how far I have come and how nervous I used to be; a state of being I like to keep mostly in the past. Of course from time to time I can slip back into those aged tendencies – for example, when a cold sweat immediately ensues the moment an older Spanish woman chastises you in passing when you round the street corner on your scooter. Aside from this though, my default state of existence has morphed over time to become one of more sustained calm. I have changed from living a mostly anxious life with intermittent moments of calm to living a mostly calm life with intermittent moments of anxiety. It has honestly been a crucial 180 in my life that has really saved me, because existing in a constant state of stress is taxing. To tie it all back, I think this is why I sensed a need to change up my life in these recent months. I felt the scale sliding back to my old state of being and I could not let that happen; like childhood clothes you try on the next school year only to find them a poor and uncomfortable fit, my old life didn’t suit me anymore. Shedding layers is a part of existing, and we are constantly growing to become better versions of ourselves. If I didn’t push myself to try new things and evolve, I would never realize how great life could be. That’s why I always thoroughly recommend challenging yourself. Change is hard but it allows us to grow, and growth is a worthy, life-long pursuit. We don’t know what we’re missing until we’re on the other side of our challenges, looking back at who and what we used to be. In my rearview mirror I see the past versions of myself and thank them for all they’ve done to get me here, but I don’t linger there. Onwards and upwards as they say. And to bring us back to the present… onwards to Valencia. Adios por ahora! 

9/28/21: A  Journey's Start

It is shocking what trepidation accompanies getting my thoughts down on paper.  However, with the amount of nonsense that bounces around my brain 24-7, it is likely a very wise thing to do. 

Having resigned from my around a month ago today, I can confirm that my life is at a very different spot. The main character energy is bubbling below the surface just as much as it did when 10 year old me stared out the rainy car window with some dramatic internal monologue playing on loop. I am sitting at a café in Paisely, Scotland... trying to get out my thoughts and round up all the details of my upcoming trip to Spain and beyond. I have to say that aside from some overwhelming feelings that have come on here and there with packing/planning... these past few weeks I have felt mostly zen. You may not know how much of a statement that is for me, but 'zen' has not been in my vocabulary for at least the last ten years. From the moment I left high school, I have worked every moment either as a student or an engineer. While some may not count student life as hefty work... I will say with absolute confidence that I have never worked so hard as I did when earning my engineering degree. A five-year race to the finish line that left me with an impressive addition to caffeine and anxiety out the wazoo. Many mornings of watching the sunrise and counting hours until I could sleep again... "Okay I've been up for a day and half so that makes 5 hours until class is finished and I can sleep for 6 hours then". And to set the record straight, I'm not a perfectionist; this was merely the commitment to finish all the work at a minimum - there was not enough time in the world for perfection, let alone the part-time work and extracurriculars that were a necessary resume addition. I remember days of being so overwhelmed and holding back tears as a breakdown would waste precious time to finish my work. I felt so wound up and refused to allow myself the time to feel whatever this pressure was causing me to feel... honestly out of fear I would never come back from that. A crippling race to the finish that culminated in a swift collapse into the comforting arms of corporate America. Unsurprisingly, this was the first time I felt I could breath. I had a month off, moved to Florida, started a full-time job in engineering and honestly found it to carry around 10% the pressure of my degree... "and you get paid for this?!" It was the dream. I enjoyed my life immensely, learning my trade, making friends, making mentors... learning to live far from home. But the further I got from my degree, the more the stress of the job itself got to me. When I left school, my job felt like a dream comparatively. The more time went on though, my career took center stage and its factors added up. I wasn't surviving on 2 hours of sleep but I was managing projects, people, and personalities. I was dealing the quandary being a female in engineering ... putting on a cheery face in every interaction to avoid being labeled as a difficult woman; on the other hand striking a balance of not being too cheery as to avoid male colleagues twice your age and rank inappropriately mistaking that as interest. Don't get me wrong, all of these caveats of the workforce are things I do not mind dealing with ordinarily. I brush off all the negatives because I love solving problems and working with people. When I'm in my element, I enjoy my job and to be frank, I excel at it. But at this point in my life, when the past decade of my life has been nothing but stress, I needed a break. Simple as that. 

So now I sit in this little café, thinking about how grateful I am to have this opportunity to take time off. Nowadays I take deep, slow breathes and appreciate all the little things in life. I am the most relaxed I have been since I can remember, and that fact makes me realize how much I needed this time off. Not to mention that recalling the past here has left me with subtle tears lingering in the corners of my eyes; venting, eh? I know this could be viewed as a tangent, but clearly I needed to put all this out there. I hope it all helps you realize my journey to this point. And for lack of a better ending transition... adventure, here I come!